Dating An Alcoholic: Breakup or Make Up?

Tyler Collins

Written by

Tyler Collins

Published

July 28, 2021

Clinically Reviewed by

Rob McKinstry, LPHA

“I’m not drinking anymore.” “I’m not  in denial.” “No, I really mean it this time!”

Chances are that you’ve heard these statements before. If your partner or loved one is an alcoholic, then you may have been told these many times. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can have many negative effects on the lives of not only those who are struggling with alcoholism but also their loved ones.

There is a lot of advice out there when it comes to dating an alcoholic. Some say that you should stay with them and try to help them get sober, while others would have you break up with the alcoholic as soon as possible. This article will help you to understand how to deal with someone who struggles with alcoholism, and whether or not it might be time for you to break up with them.

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Are You Dating An Alcoholic?

Maybe you’ve asked this question before: How do I know if I’m dating an alcoholic? If you’re not sure whether your partner has an alcohol problem, there are some signs that you can watch out for.

Here are some signs that someone might be struggling with alcoholism:

  • Does the attitude and behavior of your partner change when in the influence of alcohol?
  • Is your partner upset or angry when deprived of alcohol?
  • Does your partner have a hard time controlling the amount they drink?
  • Is alcohol their primary coping strategy for stress, anxiety, or other issues in life?
  • Do you see bottles of booze throughout the house and it seems like there’s always beer on hand at parties with friends?
  • Does alcohol affect your partner’s ability to be productive at work and at home?

When Is Drinking A Problem in A Relationship?

Alcoholic PartnerOne of the first issues that will arise is that when one partner develops alcoholism, that partner tends to be less capable of working. This could lead to financial issues.

Alcohol also tends to affect a person’s relationship with their partner and family members. This is because alcoholics are not in the right state of mind and their main concern is just to consume alcohol constantly.

Violent behavior is also common in relationships where a partner has developed alcoholism. This is because an alcoholic becomes violent when they drink and it can lead them into becoming aggressive towards the people around them.

What To Do When Dating An Alcoholic?

If your partner is struggling with alcoholism, it is natural to worry about what you should and should not do. While every person is different, there are some tips that can help you navigate this situation

Do’s:

  • Communicate with your partner when they are sober and tell them how their habit is affecting you and your relationship.
  • Learn more about alcoholism to understand that it is a disease that can be treated.
  • Encourage your partner to seek professional help.
  • Be patient. Know that alcoholism cannot be cured instantly.
  • Practice self-care activities and find a support group to help you cope with the situation.

Don’ts:

Should I Break Up With Someone Who Is An Alcoholic?

Dating An AlcoholicThe question on whether you should stay in a relationship with an alcoholic is not a yes or no answer. This is because it really depends on the situation.

Does your partner recognize that they have a drinking problem and are they willing to get help? If your partner is willing to get help and has a desire for recovery, the relationship may be worth saving.

However, if your partner does not want to get treatment or refuses to admit there’s a problem then it might be time to move on. If your partner’s drinking behavior is already endangering your own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing, then you should not feel bad about choosing to leave a toxic relationship.

No matter what you choose, we can’t emphasize enough that this is an incredibly tough decision. It can be hard to know what the next step should be when your partner has been drinking heavily or using drugs over an extended period. If you’re dealing with a partner who is struggling with alcoholism, then it’s important to remember that there are many kinds of support out there for them and for you.

If you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse, help is available.

Contact Anaheim Lighthouse today.

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